


Survival

by spacemanearthgirl



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Holtzbert - Freeform, They're idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7958032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemanearthgirl/pseuds/spacemanearthgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin hadn't mean to say it, she should've just asked Holtzmann out instead of suggesting what she had, because now she is pretending to date the woman she's in love with.</p>
<p>Or when Erin and Holtzmann pretend to date so Abby and Patty will leave them alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Survival

A warm presence by her side, a comforting arm around her shoulder, it all felt so nice, so real, and yet it as much as Erin wished it was real, it wasn't.

xxx

"Why don't you just ask her out?" Abby asks for what feels like the millionth time. She really did love her but Erin was sick of the constant nagging by her friend. It didn't help that that's exactly what she wants to do, ask Holtzmann out, but she's too afraid. For months both Abby and Patty have been on at her to ask out the younger woman, they know all about her feelings for Holtzmann, but still Erin has done nothing.

“We’ve talked about this, I’m not going to ask Holtz out, ok? And no matter how many times we have this conversation, that’s not going to change.” God, how she wants it to change, how she wishes she had the courage to just ask Holtzmann out, then at least if she didn’t feel the same, she could try to get over her. But no, she was stuck loving her from a distance and hoping Holtzmann made a move.

“You know I just want you to be happy?” Abby says, realising she’s upsetting Erin.

“I know, and I am,” Erin assures her friend. And that’s true, she is happy, happy with her work and her friends and just being around Holtzmann makes her happy, even if it hurts her heart when she is.

Abby gives her one last smile before she turns and leaves, thinking maybe she’d have better luck talking to Holtzmann again, trying to get her to ask Erin out instead since Erin doesn’t seem to be moving on the matter.

“You too, huh?” Erin jumps as Holtzmann startles her, coming out from under the desk where she’d been hidden.

"What?" Erin asks, heart hammering, from the fright she'd gotten as well as trying to figure out how much Holtz may have heard.

Holtzmann nods her head to the door Abby just left from, "I've had Abby and Patty trying to get me to ask you out too."

Erin is mortified. Has Holtzmann figured out that she’s the reason they keep asking? That’s she’s totally in love with her friend but too afraid to do anything so Patty and Abby are trying to help?

“They just don’t seem to want to give up,” Erin laughs nervously, wondering if this is the time when she should just throw caution to the wind and ask her. At least that’d get Abby and Patty to leave them alone even if Holtz said no.

And so Erin just goes for it, opens her mouth and talks, but the words that come out are not the ones she’d planned to say, "what if we pretend?"

"What?" Holtzmann’s come out from under the desk to stand in front of Erin and now she’s giving her a confused look.

"What if we pretend to be dating, say that one of us asked the other one out, then maybe they'll finally leave us alone?" No, no, no, she doesn't want that at all. But the words are out there and try as she might, she can't take them back, can't say the words she's wishing she could say instead, will you go out with me?

Holtzmann is silent for a minute, clearly deep in thought, and just as Erin is about to take back the words, say she was only joking and she’ll have a talk with the others, tell them it’s not going to happen, Holtzmann replies.

“Ok.”

xxx

That had been a week ago and so now Erin’s sitting on the couch, Holtzmann’s arm around her shoulders as she’s pressed into her side. Admittedly this isn’t a bad place to be, she feels comfortable in Holtzmann’s embrace, until she remembers that this is all fake and Holtzmann’s arm is only around her because Abby and Patty have joined them for movie night.

Holtzmann shifts slightly beside her and the hand that Erin didn’t know what to do with falls to rest on Holtzmann’s thigh. Erin glances to the side, wanting to check she hasn’t crossed a line but she sees Holtz give her a reassuring smile and Erin relaxes again. Holtzmann’s thigh feels so warm and Erin feels so safe and wanted wrapped up in Holtzmann that she lets herself forget that this is fake for a minute, lets herself imagine that they really are a couple and they’re just enjoying a movie night together.

It was so easy to pretend it was real, and Erin knew that that was dangerous.

xxx

Erin’s in the kitchen the next morning, making herself some toast when she feels a warm pair of arms circle her waist and a body press up against her back. She knows immediately who it is and relaxes into the embrace and without thinking about it, she turns and presses a kiss to Holtzmann’s cheek as her face appears beside hers. Erin blushes when she realises what she’s just done and is about to apologise for overstepping when Abby walks in.

“Morning,” Abby says cheerfully, smiling at the couple as she went about making her own breakfast as she ignored how wrapped up they were together, “plans for the day?”

“This cutie and I are working on testing the new ghost trap I finished yesterday,” replies Holtzmann grinning when she sees Erin blush again, “you still helping Patty with her research?”

“Yeah, we found some pretty interesting stuff yesterday which may explain a theory I’ve been working on, we’ll fill you in later if it pans out.”

More words are exchanged between Abby and Holtzmann but Erin has stopped listening, too busy focusing on all the points where she now realises her and Holtzmann are touching. Holtzmann’s whole front is pressing up against Erin’s back, she can feel the warmth radiating from the younger woman. Holtzmann’s arms are still wrapped tightly around Erin’s waist, holding her close and her chin is resting on Erin’s shoulder now, she can feel Holtzmann’s hair brushing the side of her neck.

Erin is brought from her thoughts as she hears Abby leave the room and then they’re alone again.

“Holtz?”

Holtzmann smiles and presses a kiss of her own to Erin’s cheek before she lets go and leaves the room too. Erin is surprised for a few seconds, only realising too late that Holtzmann has stolen the toast she’s just made.

xxx

It has been a good day of ghost busting so to celebrate the four women decided to go out for a drink.

The bar is local and the night is nice so they walk the few blocks together, chatting happily as they go.

But while they're talking, Erin is thinking, has been since they'd decided to go out. Holtzmann has been the one initiating most of the fake couple stuff over the past two weeks between them. Which is fine, she's the more confident one and they'd spoken, have a code word if something makes the other uncomfortable. But Erin wants to do something now in return, wants to show Holtzmann that she's ok with what they're doing, it was her (stupid) idea after all.

With a deep breath Erin reaches out, hand slipping into the woman’s on her right, fingers threading together. Holtzmann looks over at her, distracted from the conversation she’s having to glance at Erin and Erin is relieved by the smile she sees settle on Holtzmann’s lips as she goes back to talking with Patty and Abby.

When they get to the bar and take their usual booth near the window, Holtzmann doesn’t let go of Erin’s hand despite the restrictions that come with only have one usable hand while eating and drinking. Erin spends the rest of the evening with Holtzmann’s hand in hers and nothing can take the smile off her face.

xxx

Holtzmann still flirts, just like she always did. And it used to fluster Erin (it still does) but Erin used to hide her reaction as best she could even though she'd end up stuttering and blushing. Now though, she doesn't try to hide how much the flirting affects her, especially when the others are present. She still blushes of course, that's always going to happen with Holtzmann, but instead of stuttering, Erin smiles in response, eyes warm as she looks at Holtzmann.

The pickup line that Holtzmann has just used today is particularly cheesy and Erin is still on the high from the hand holding the other night so after Holtzmann delivers the awful line, Erin actually attempts to flirt back, grin on her face as she does.

Erin will never get over the look of surprise and delight on Holtzmann’s face when Erin flirted back. It was a little clumsy and totally Erin which only made Holtzmann love it more. After that, Erin decided that as long as they were doing this thing together, she was going to continue to show Holtzmann what her flirting does to her, and flirt back, to get that same delighted reaction out of her.

xxx

The dancing doesn’t change between them. When Erin had first found out how much Holtzmann loved to dance, Erin was always embarrassed when Holtzmann made her join in. As time progressed though and she became more comfortable around her, Erin began to enjoy the impromptu dancing. Now, she absolutely loves it, and looks forward to any time she ends up dancing with the younger woman. Holtzmann is always so free when she dances, so full of joy and she looks so beautiful that Erin has trouble looking away sometimes. She really loves this woman, even if she can only admit it to herself right now.

So, even though every other time they’ve been in close proximity to each other recently and Erin has had to remind herself that it’s fake, she doesn’t have to as they dance now, because this has always been the same between them.

Their arms waving, loud singing and laughing and they’re just enjoying themselves as their bodies move, coming into contact as Holtzmann spins her close before she releases her again. It’s times like this when Erin thinks maybe the other woman likes her too and just for this moment, she pretends that she does.

xxx

A blueberry muffin appears on top of the page she’s currently reading and Erin looks up to find Holtzmann standing beside her desk, a soft smile on her face, “I noticed you skipped lunch so I got you this.”

Erin’s so surprised for a moment but as Holtzmann turns to leave, Erin’s hand shoot’s out to grab hold of Holtzmann’s. Holtzmann’s eyes move from where Erin is gripping her arm to settle on her eyes.

“Thanks,” Erin smiles, giving Holtzmann’s arm a squeeze. Movement to her right catches her eye and Erin sees Abby appear through the door at the other end of the room. Erin knows she shouldn’t use Abby’s presence in the room as an excuse to be closer to the other woman and she know’s she’ll feel guilty about it later but she does it anyway.

Erin tugs on Holtzmann’s arm she’s still holding on to. Holtzmann looks confused but moves forward anyway, bending over as she does. Erin scoots forward in her chair, pulling Holtzmann down close to her as she leans up. Erin pressed her lips softly to Holtzmann’s cheek, her heart pounding as she does.

“Thanks,” Erin says again, just loud enough for Holtzmann to hear this time.

“You’re welcome,” Holtzmann replies, smile brighter than before as Erin let’s go of her arm and they move back from each other. Abby appears beside them, breaking the moment. She looks sorry for interrupting but she needs their help.

Holtzmann’s cheek felt so soft under her lips. Erin wonders how soft Holtzmann’s lips would feel against hers.

xxx

Erin heard Holtzmann move from the desk she’s been working at all afternoon to stand in front of her but Erin jumps when she feels hands in her hair. She looks up, shocked, dropping her book as Holtzmann’s hands continue to move through her hair.

“What are you doing?” Her question comes out more breathless than she’d like.

“We’re going downstairs, it’s dinner time,” Holtzmann replies, completely calm, as if her fingers aren’t currently moving through Erin’s hair.

“And you’re messing up my hair why?”

“Because we’ve been up here for hours alone.” Holtzmann says, tone saying it’s obvious what she’s doing.

Erin just stares at her in confusion as fingers continue to tangle in her hair, so Holtzmann clarifies, “if we go downstairs looking normal after being alone for so long, Abby and Patty are going to think I have no game.”

Erin realises then what Holtzmann is doing and if her hair’s going to be a mess, then Holtzmann’s should be too. Erin stands, forcing Holtzmann to take a small step back to make room for Erin, all the while her hands are still in her hair. Erin then moves before Holtzmann can do anything to stop her, her hands going into the perfectly sculpted blonde hair on the other woman’s head.

Holtzmann steps back out of Erin’s reach, hands flying to her own hair, looking shocked, hoping Erin hasn’t messed it up too much.

“So, you can mess up my hair but I can’t mess up yours?” Holtzmann’s hair felt so soft between her fingers but Erin tries not to think about that too much right now. Or how Holtzmann’s hands had felt moving through her own hair.

Holtzmann nods, using one of the reflective metal surfaces to fix her hair, trying her best to get it back to how it had been before Erin messed it up.

“Fine then,” Erin says, stepping closer to Holtzmann, smirking when her eyes widen.

“What are you doing?” she asks, hands moving up to protect her hair in case Erin tries to mess with it again. Holtzmann’s back hits a wall behind her and now she’s smirking as Erin steps into her personal space despite the threat to her hair.

Erin doesn’t answer, her hands shooting out in front of her again but instead of going for Holtzmann’s hair, she grabs hold of her clothes, shirt being creased as Erin half pulls it out from where it’s tucked in.

Holtzmann’s eyes widen as she realises exactly what Erin’s doing, “I like the way you think, Gilbert.”

Erin grins in response, eyes moving to Holtzmann’s hair again. Holtzmann had been too distracted by Erin’s attack on her clothing which left her hair wide open for a second attack.

Both their hair and their clothing are dishevelled by the time they go downstairs for dinner, Patty and Abby giving them knowing looks. They may not have actually had sex but Erin’s not going to forget any time soon the feelings of Holtzmann’s hands on her, or her hands on Holtzmann, as they messed up each other’s clothing and hair to make it look like they did have sex.

xxx

Erin and Abby are sitting at Abby’s desk going over some equations together when Holtzmann and Patty arrive at the firehouse. They both look up to greet the women but Erin is surprised when Holtzmann appears behind her.

Erin stretches her neck, leaning her head backwards to look up at Holtzmann above her.

“Hey, Babe,” Holtzmann says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Erin’s forehead.

Erin blushes and doesn’t get a chance to say anything as Holtzmann has vanished up the stairs before her brain has caught up with what just happened. She thinks about that kiss for the rest of the day.

xxx

Erin’s completely confused about what’s going on between her and Holtzmann. It’s all still fake but it doesn’t feel like it to her and she feels guilty every time she thinks that, like she’s taking advantage of the situation.

But sometimes though, things happen between them when no one’s actually around to see them and that makes Erin wonder if Holtzmann may feel what she’s feeling too.

A brush of hands when Erin hands Holtzmann a cup of coffee when she knows the woman got hardly any sleep the night before.

Sitting too close on the couch when they are alone even though no one else is around and there is plenty of room on the other chair. Holtzmann never seems to mind the close proximity so Erin lets her, enjoying the comfort she gets from the other woman.

They went out the other day to get coffee for everyone and Erin had felt a hand on her back as she’d entered the café. She’d thought nothing of it at the time, used to the physical contact between them now. It wasn’t until two days later that Erin had realised that there was no reason for that contact as Patty and Abby hadn’t been around.

Erin lists these things in her head and realises that some of these things had been happening before they’d started fake dating, how had she not noticed before? Well, she had noticed, she’d just thought she’d been initiating most of them but it turns out that it wasn’t all her, Holtzmann just didn’t really have much concept of personal space. Before Erin had blamed herself for that, like she was getting in Holtzmann’s space when it looked like it was the other way around. That didn’t mean anything though, did it?

xxx

“I’m so glad you two are finally together, we were sick of seeing you both pining all the time,” Patty says as she walks into the living area one day to find Holtzmann and Erin sitting closely together, discussing Holtzmann’s most recent invention.

Erin’s eyes widen as she hears Patty talk, this is what she’d been afraid of, Abby or Patty would say something that’d give away her true feelings for her friend.

Erin felt Holtzmann stiffen beside her and knew that things could potentially come crashing down around them.

“Yeah, you two are cute together,” Abby agrees, both women taking a lunch break from their work, just like Erin and Holtzmann had been before they got distracted by work, “sometimes too cute but yeah, it’s so much better than seeing you two pining all the time.”

_No, this can’t be happening,_ Erin thinks, she can’t let Holtzmann know that she actually has feelings for her. _Wait, we were both pining?_

Erin’s eyes flash to Holtzmann, her eyes wide as she looks back at her. Erin wishes she could read the other woman’s mind, nothing on her face is giving away what she’s thinking right now.

“Yeah…umm…Erin, can I see you upstairs for a minute?” Holtzmann asks and before Erin can formulate a response, Holtzmann has already stood up and is walking up the stairs. With not much choice now, Erin gets up and follows, terrified out of her mind but also curious, could her feelings actually be mutual after all?

Erin blushes as she walks up the stairs and hears Patty’s voice behind her, “oh no, they’re going up there to have sex. I don’t care that they’re doing it, I just don’t want to know when they’re doing it.” Erin hears the firehouse door open and then shut after that and she knows she’s now completely alone with Holtz.

“What’re Patty and Abby talking about?” Holtzmann asks when Erin reaches the second floor, Holtzmann standing a few feet in front of her, a look of confusion on her face.

Erin’s heart is pounding now. What is she supposed to say? That’s she’s secretly been in love with her for most of their friendship? That these last few weeks have been the happiest she’s been in a relationship in her entire life, even if the whole thing was fake.

When Erin doesn’t respond, just stands there looking shocked and deep in thought, Holtzmann speaks again, voice much softer this time, less demanding and more hesitant, “you don’t have feelings for me, do you?”

Erin chokes on nothing, “I…I….”

“Because if you did, that’d make the conversation we’re about to have a lot easier.”

“What?”

Holtzmann takes a deep breath, screws her eyes shut, then speaks, “I like you.”

Erin’s mouth falls open in shock, “what?”

“And Patty said she was sick of seeing us both pining all the time. Is that true?”

Holtzmann’s eyes are still closed so Erin can’t tell what she’s thinking. Erin takes a moment to collect herself, having to speak as simply nodding wouldn’t work with Holtzmann’s eyes still closed. “I don’t know about you but there was lots of pining on my end.”

Holtzmann’s eyes fly open now to see Erin still standing where she was, her cheeks a dark shade of red.

Holtzmann moves before Erin can register what’s going on and then Holtzmann’s lips are on hers as hands tangle in her hair. As soon as Erin’s brain catches up with what’s happening, Erin’s kissing her back with equal enthusiasm as her hands move to Holtzmann’s hips to hold her close.

Holtzmann pulls away far too soon for Erin’s liking but thankfully doesn’t go far, partly due to how tightly Erin’s hold is still on her hips and party because Holtzmann didn’t want to move further away than she has to.

“Pringles?” Holtzmann asks, looking hesitantly at Erin for any sign that her actions are unwanted despite the enthusiasm that Erin had just shown in their kiss.

Erin laughs as she shakes her head, the mention of their code word surprising her, “no, definitely not pringles.”

“Good,” Holtzmann grins, pressing her lips back to Erin’s, this time more bold in her movements as they move together, hands and tongues exploring. Holtzmann pulls Erin with her as they kiss, taking a few steps backwards and spinning to push Erin up against one of her workbenches, Holtzmann slipping her thigh between Erin’s as they continue to move against each other.

“Can I ask you something?” Holtzmann asks when they pull away next time, Erin now firmly stuck between Holtzmann and one of the work tables, not that she’s complaining at all.

Erin nods, the movement jostling Holtzmann whose forehead is pressed to Erin’s.

“Why did you suggest we fake date, if you had feelings for me?”

Erin groans, pulling away from Holtzmann so she could look her in the eyes as she spoke, “I was meant to ask you out on a date that day, but I panicked and my body wouldn’t listen to my brain so I suggested a fake relationship instead. And then I felt terrible, like I was taking advantage of you every time we were together but you didn’t seem to mind and I couldn’t stop myself. That’s why I suggested the code word, at least so I’d know if I crossed a line with you.”

Holtzmann laughs, “at least I wasn’t the only one feeling guilty then.”

“It’s not funny, I felt awful,” Erin says, lightly hitting Holtzmann on the shoulder.

“I know,” Holtzmann says, cupping Erin’s cheek, expression turning serious as she spoke, “I shouldn’t have agreed to pretend with you, I should’ve just asked you out in the first place, but I was scared too.”

Erin laughs now too, “we’re both idiots.”

“But you had fun pretending, right?” Holtzmann asks, winking at Erin who laughs again.

Erin grins, “yeah.”

“And now,” Holtzmann says, an excited glint in her eye, “we don’t have pretend any longer.”

“No, we don’t,” Erin agrees, gently pushing Holtzmann away from her so she is no longer trapped between her and the table. Before Holtzmann can protest at the lack of contact now between them, Erin reaches down to take her hand and twine their fingers together.

“Patty and Abby will be gone for a couple hours, they think we came up here to have sex, why don’t we make the most of that time?” Erin gives Holtzmann a wink this time and she is delighted when she sees Holtzmann blush.

Holtzmann recovers and gives her a scandalous look, hand moving to her chest, “we haven’t even been on a date yet.”

Erin shrugs, “technically we’ve been dating for almost a month.”

Holtzmann can’t hold her shocked look for long before she’s grinning again. She leans in, presses a quick kiss to Erin’s lips before she tugs on their joined hands, pulling Erin towards the bedrooms.

Holtzmann pauses for a second outside her room and before Erin can as if everything is ok, tell her that they don’t need to do this now, they can take things slow, Holtzmann is moving again.

They stop outside Erin’s room now, Erin giving Holtzmann a questioning look.

“Your room is probably safer.”

Erin laughs then, the sound bubbling out of her because she’s just so damn happy right now, “agreed.”

This time it’s Erin that asks, “pringles?”

Holtzmann shakes her head, a soft smile now on her face as she looks at Erin, “no.”

“Good,” Erin says, as she pulls Holtzmann into her room and closes the door behind them. By pressing Holtzmann up against it.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this. Thoughts?


End file.
